national potato chip day!!!

okay...so i thought i was done posting for the day but then i get this email from kettle chips *yes, i am on their mailing list...don't judge...they absolutely count as grown up indulgences* telling me it is national potato chip day. SERIOUSLY. i couldn't imagine a more perfectly unnecessary thing to celebrate.


so let's celebrate. below i've listed my favorite kettle brand chips and why i like them so much.


KRINKLE CUT DILL & SOUR CREAM: the dill and sour cream krinkle chips are my go-to chip. i don't know if it is because they come in a bigger bag than some of the other flavors, but it is definitely a staple. i love the extra crunch from the krinkle cut and the dill is such a wonderfully underused herb on potato chips. yum!



CHEDDAR BEER: ...really? this is the best. i love cheese. seriously, cheese is my very favorite food. over everything else. and cheddar is the top. so with my favorite cheese being the focus of this flavor i had to try it. and it's great. i like beer...i don't love it. but i do happen to love beer and cheddar soup thanks to an irish pub near where i went to college. and they served it with homemade potato chips. it tasted exactly like these chips...except the chips aren't hot and gooey. but they could be. mmm.



NEW YORK CHEDDAR WITH HERBS: this is a gimme. i mean, come on.

1. cheese.
2. herbs.
3. new york.


check, check and check.
next.




SEA SALT & VINEGAR: sea salt and vinegar is my favorite of their everyday flavors. i really like the way they describe them on the bag..."unconventionally strong and tangy." it's totally true. kettle chips takes a regular store brand flavor and makes it divine. and you know they use really good salt and vinegar. double perfect.


below are three delicious sounding flavors that i have yet to try...but should get off my lazy ass and do so. it's national chip day for the love of all things holy!



BACKYARD BARBEQUE: i imagine this is another store brand flavor that the kettle company has taken to an entirely new level. i'm there.

TUSCAN THREE CHEESE: three cheeses. yeah that's okay.

KRINKLE CUT BUFFALO BLEU: i think i have an unnatural affection for all things spicy. my favorite snack as of late has been texas pete *the very best hot sauce!* on saltine crackers. now i know it sounds a little redneck but it satisfies my craving for the tongue burning crunch that i have daily. and don't think the people in my life understand this. i get crazy weird reactions from them. these chips could totally replace the texas pete smothered saltines and i would no longer be a snack time pariah. oh...and they use cheese too. A+++

i hope i have inspired you, or at least made you hungry. if you do nothing else today...eat some potato chips. i know i will. *oh that's going on the ToDo list.*

GuS = grown up soda

yesterday i had my first GuS. the website says that it is the "first soda made truly for adult palates." they have some fantastic flavors, ie. dry cranberry lime and star ruby grapefruit, that just scream to be made into cocktails. which is exactly why on their site they have a GuS cocktail recipe section. *!?!*



my amazingly thoughtful boyfriend picked up two small GuS bottles on his way home from the post office, one the aforementioned star ruby grapefruit and the other was extra dry ginger ale. we mixed the grapefruit with tanqueray gin and the ginger ale with jameson whisky. both were absolutely divine. now i am desperately trying to find out how to buy them by the case.

inspiration

the best burlesque in the city! really...it is awesome. come out tonight if you can. i'll be there.

illustration by bill morton.

ToDo

• clean living room
• wash more dishes
• 9 pm burlesque
• spend the afternoon with my honey
• eat potato chips

it's always something

i've been told that new york women are always looking for either a boyfriend, a job, or an apartment. *okay okay so i heard it on sex and the city...but it seems totally true.* i have all three right now and consider myself pretty fortunate because they are all amazing, as illustrated below.

my gorgeous boyfriend at rockaway beach.

the money here represents my job...because i have no photos yet.

my amazing place.

so i should be happy right? nope. oddly enough when i woke up this morning i was itching to move. i typed in my usual search on craigslist...loft....1800...cats...brooklyn. i found loads of places, some even had exposed brick and were really lofts instead of railroad apartments but all were dangerously far away from manhattan. it just doesn't make the move feasable right now. i need to move closer to manhattan or stay the same distance i am now and upgrade.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT:

might i add...washer, dryer, dishwasher, storage loft, outdoor space, prime billyburg location. if only i could swing just under 3000 a month...if only if only.

"if only me auntie had bollocks she'd be me uncle." - david brent

inspiration

illustration by julie morstad.

i wish my mess were this organized. can i have a whole room for my magazines?

ToDo

• wash dishes (i got a job yesterday...i didn't do the dishes)
• do laundry
• bid on dress on ebay i did not win the dress :@(
• make nachos

...looks like it is gonna be a slow day.

okay...

I GOT A JOB! not just any job...but the job of my dreams. at least my dreams right now. i'll be a creative co-ordinator at an innovation company. the details are extremely difficult to explain, but here's the company's website if you are curious: ?WhatIf!

inspiration

yes, the past happened...but it's over isn't it?

still from The Darjeeling Limited

ToDo

• go to the bank
• deposit rent
• wash dishes
• 9 pm - revealed
• wait for a phone call
• get my shit together

repurposing the blog

after many failed attempts to both:

a. blog about my immensely interesting life, and
b. get my shit together

i decided that i could use this blog to help me get my interesting life shit together. i plan to login daily and update ToDo lists, write about my day to come or my day which has passed, and post pictures of my precious kitty. *i promise i will try to keep kitty pictures to a minimum.*

"why not just keep a journal, at home, on your bedside table?", you ask. "why did she decide to share her struggles of becoming an adult with the whole world?", you wonder. TWO REASONS:

1. i am saving paper, thus helping the environment, and
2. so YOU can help keep me on target (if there are, indeed, any of YOU out there.)

so here goes.

"LET THE GREAT EXPERIMENT BEGIN!" - tobias funke

Blue Crocs and Socks - By Dr. Suess(y)

I am from the docks.
I wear Crocs.
Sometimes I wear socks with Crocs.

My socks are black.
My Crocs are blue.
There isn't a more perfect shoe.

I went to New York City,
To see what I could see.
My Crocs and socks came with me.
I wore them naturally.

I was strolling around Chinatown.
I stopped to take a photo.
A passerby started yelling.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT IS A NO-NO!

I DO NOT LIKE BLUE CROCS AND SOCKS.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM, GUY FROM THE DOCKS.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM IN CHINATOWN.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM ALL AROUND.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM IN PARK SLOPE.
I THINK THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A DOPE.
I DO NOT LIKE BLUE CROCS AND SOCKS.
I DO NOT LIKE THEM, GUY FROM THE DOCKS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In all seriousness, I saw a man today wearing black dress socks with blue Crocs. This has got to be stopped. The Croc epidemic has taken over the nation. No one is immune. It is a fashion disaster irrespective of age, race or creed. Please help stop this before you too end up wearing Crocs.

Remember: Friends don't let friends look like dumbasses.

+= dumbass!

New Years Eve in Pictures

Robert hates snowflakes.

My ass...and my New Years resolution. "Give prostitution a try."


*honk. honk.* Happy New Year! *toot. toot.*


*honk. honk.* Happy New Year! *toot. toot.*



The horns were outlawed, so Robert and I hid them. Still easily accessable.



Desi disappeared and we have no idea where she is...hence the confusion.

So this is the best photo I have ever seen. I don't even know who took it, but I want to say thank you. Thank you for immortalizing this amazing moment.

Robert loves snowflakes.

Horsing around on the stoop.

Robert is such an asshole. This would be a perfectly lovely picture if he was not in it. Seriously somebody should photoshop him out and then frame it. Asshole.

Signs of Desi. Her shoe was left in the hallway. Must mean she is nearby.

I don't remember what was funny but wow...that is a great face anj. Really we love this photo.

cute.

We found DESI!

The last photo of the evening. We were on the bus ride home. This picture doesn't do justice to how unbelievably drunk we were. DRUNK.

This Week in Transit: Mostly Mass, Some Otherwise.

People fascinate me.

I'll admit it. I watch people on the train. It is hard not to, but we all try to pretend we are in our own little worlds and no one else can affect us, especially that crazy guy picking his nose at the end of the row. But it just isn't true. At least not for me. Maybe I'm not "New York" enough.

This week on the train was more eventful than most *maybe because I'm currently at a loss for reading material.* I hope the following list of characters amuses you as much as it amused me.

• Haitian Man: Six and a half feet tall with legs like tree trunks. Herringbone pants with pointed leather shoes. Spoke french. Absolutely gorgeous.
  
• Gypsy Woman: Short and rotund. Long patchwork animal print dress, leopard print scarf, multicolored woven coat, and seashell ring. Short, spiky blond hair. About 55. Sat with legs spread apart, underneath her floor length skirt. Looked sage-like.
  
• Man #1: Average looking. Wore jeans and a sweater, or something equally less noticeable. Pulled out a boom box from underneath him. Listened to it with headphones. I thought, "Bad ass! Way to fight the man. You don't need an ipod." Unplugged the headphones. Played a song from "Motown Christmas" for the entire train. I thought, "Asshole."
  
• Jamaican Cowboy: Thin. Wore dreadlocks and a black leather jacket. With fringe. And a bolo. And Wranglers.
  
• Teenage Girl: Fat. Asleep. Wore a white, puffy jacket. Zipped all the way up to her lips. As she drifted further and further into dreams her head would slide back, searching for a resting place. Her bottom lip, however, would get stuck on the inside of her white, puffy jacket and expose her teeth like a horse. Every single time.
  
• Man #2: Large, older, statuesque man. With a very round face. Could have been someones uncle. Except for the fact that he had on sunglasses that I own. Outrageous sunglasses. Women's sunglasses. Illustrated below.

These people make my hour long train ride much more tolerable, but it is still an hour long train ride. So, sometimes I drive to work. Even though I have to pay tolls. Because it takes half the time, and sleep is important.

I'm sure it comes to you as no surprise that traffic in New York City is awful. And the drivers are even worse.

Also, as no surprise, I encountered an awful driver in a Porsche last night. He was weaving in and out of traffic. I saw him nearly get into an accident twice. He rolled down his window *in 20 degree weather* to yell at people. As I passed him, I saw he had spectacles on the tip of his nose and was reading the New York Times. I thought, "Asshole."

There were other much less notably awful drivers, as always. Someone cuts me off. I honk my horn. I make an expletive gesture. *Yes I'm not always proud of who I am when I'm on the highway.* But by far, the worst driver I have seen to date, and I wish I were exaggerating, was a small bus labeled "Cerebral Palsy Transport." Sad but true.

I leave you this frigid Saturday morning with pictures from my trip home for Thanksgiving. Robert's mother has a pet goat *I love the South.* It is still a baby, just 3 months old I believe. I had no idea how cute goats really are. They totally want to snuggle. Just watch out for the horns.

Christmas Came Early

So I haven't posted in a while. I know, I'm an awful blogger. But, i was viciously attacked by the spirit of christmas. More to follow, but for now a few photos of my tree.

Recent Reminders of the Constant Passage of Time

Today it was cold when I got off work. The standing air was still warm, but I could feel a sharp chill in the wind. There is something about subtly drastic changes in the weather that make me very sentimental. I evaluate my life quantitatively, almost like a quarterly business report: where am I, what am I doing, how did I get here, where will I go, should I wear better shoes? I usually end up with more questions than I do answers. But that is refreshing in itself, I suppose.


I have an hour long subway ride home from work everyday. Today a rather large, older man sat down next to me at the 42nd street stop. He was whistling. The tune was excrutiatingly familial; something I recognized from my childhood, associated with my grandma. He was a beautiful whistler. His song grew softer and slower and then stopped completely. He lulled himself to sleep. Almost in tears, I wanted to hug him all the way home.


I was given a very tedious project at work Tuesday that took up most of my day. The instructions were simple: "use a paper cutter to cut down sheets of paper with the updated prices for the catalog, which would then be pasted into the catalogs. (Not by me. That would be sadistic.) Do this 2400 times." My eyes began to blur, my brain turned off, I became a machine. I went home in a complete fog. I don't remember the subway ride.


I read an article in this month's issue of Harper's on the subway yesterday. A woman was recounting the descent of her grandmother from an active being into an inert mass of flesh. She told passionate tales of Saturday night dances and dress making with sisters, which were promptly rebutted with scenes of delirium and terror when the grocery store, and her own living space, became unfamiliar. She slowly began to lose her vocabulary. She forgot her loves, one by one. Her life was erased in her own mind.


I have been very melancholy lately. I am extremely content in my new job and am generally happy all around. i just feel more aware of my surroundings. i notice the details that make my life unique from everyone else's life. i'm terrified of growing old, feeling like i've wasted my life and losing those i hold most dear. I'm not sure what it is about autumn that makes me feel this way. i think it could be the leaves.

Momma in the City

My mother came to visit me in New York City. She stayed exactly one week. I can't be sure if she'll ever come back, but we had a good time.

In front of my apartment. This picture was taken on the morning of her flight home. We look very tired because we are very tired. And it was early. I didn't sleep very well the entire time my mother was in town. She slept with me while Robert slept on the sofabed. I kept having nightmares in which Robert would leave me for another woman. After living hundreds of miles away from someone and adjusting to only talking to them on the phone, it is difficult to share the same bed for a week, no matter how much you love them. And yes, I understand that it is weird, but come on y'all, she's my Momma.


At Toys'R'Us in Times Square. Spiderman is in the process of saving us from an awful villan. No? But Robert did take a great picture, right? Yeah he did. And look at how afraid my momma is. That is REAL. My mother has no interest in toys, but I just wanted to show her that even though most of the apartments are tee-tiny, New York City knows when to go big. Inside the Toys'R'Us in Times Square one can find a fully functional, full size gondola ferris wheel, a massive lego cityscape, and a GIANT T-Rex that moves and roars (like in Jurassic Park.) Momma was impressed.


Under a tree in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Momma, like some other people from back home, only knows New York City from what she sees on TV and in movies. When calling home to talk, I would often hear comments like, "Don't you miss grass?" and "Do you have ANY trees there?" I showed Momma lots and lots and lots of trees. She agreed that my neighborhood is charming.


On the steps at the Met. Momma's first full day in the city. We walked a lot. She kept up. I was impressed. The Met was really overwhelming. We tried to pace ourselves, but only managed to see the Egyptian wing, European paintings, and a photo essay on the aftermath of Katrina in New Orleans. Completely exhausted we took a rest on the steps. The weather was nice.


On the Staten Island Ferry. The ferry is amazing. The view of lower Manhattan is breathtaking and it goes right past the Statue of Liberty. We rode to Staten at sunset and came back when it was dark, after the city turned on. The moment right before docking in Manhattan is really overwhelming. The city seems to be right on top of you.


First ride on the subway. This was exciting. Despite all the other differences, the people and the food, in New York, the subway was the most foreign to my mother. She studied people intently. She was perplexed by the subway map. She loved the crazies.


In lush, green Brooklyn. We had a fun week together. We argued about everything, like you do, but it was wonderful to have the opportunity to share this new, exciting part of my life with her. It was a very special time, and I feel very fortunate to be able to appreciate that immediately.