My Pursuit

It is 7:30 in the morning and I'm awake. No, I don't have to work today. No, I didn't go to bed at 9 pm last night. No, I don't love "me" time early in the morning where I have a cup of coffee and read my Harpers. I am awake so early on this dull, dreary morning because in New York City there is this phenomenon known as "opposite side of the street parking." For those of you who don't know, in New York, the street is cleaned once a week, one side one day and the other side the next day. My street gets cleaned Wednesday and Thursday. So, for those of us stubborn enough to have cars in the city, we have to move our cars, ideally, Tuesday night and Wednesday night to avoid getting extremely expensive parking tickets. However, most of the time I forget to move my car or I come home really late, or really drunk, and have to move it the next morning. This is why I am up so early this morning. And sitting here in this decidedly New York situation I realized that I have lived in this fair city for an entire year, the anniversary being tomorrow. To, er, celebrate, I want to share with you, capricious reader, my highlights and heartaches, small, small heartaches, of this year in New York City.

I was born and raised in South Carolina. Most of you who will read my blog are probably familiar enough with South Carolina to know what it is like to live there. For those of you who don't, I have included a picture that encompasses, to me, the essence of the good ole' SC.

Don't get me wrong, I loved living there. I love most of the people and I love southern cooking, but I always felt a bit misplaced. I was looking for somewhere with more people like me. And y'all, New York City is where I found that connection.

I moved to the city to follow my "dream." I was going to be a lighting designer. Turns out, it isn't that easy to get into the business, and maybe I didn't really have the passion to pull me through those first few years of sacrifice for my art...

I moved to the city to be an electrician and work as closely as I could to my chosen profession of lighting design, hoping that one day someone would drop dead and I would be asked to fill their shoes on the spot. Being an electrician, however, requires strength, agility, efficiency, speed, and endurance. I possess few of those qualities, at my best, and had a difficult time convincing myself that I was enjoying the process...

I moved to the city to work with a temp agency in order to "find my dream." I had a strong background in theatre, but that was all that I knew. Maybe I would get placed at some fashion agency or a publishing house, and find my purpose in life. I ended up at a marketing company that produces direct to consumer items and the long form television broadcasts, read infomercials, to support each product. I didn't even have a real job. I was administrative support. My duties were to support someone else's job. I am entirely too independent for this bullshit.

Now, New York is not entirely a bust. I do have an amazing boyfriend. And we have the cutest little apartment in Brooklyn. And I have lots of great friends who I brunch with frequently. But I just wasn't satisfied with my career path. It should be easier than this, at least that is the way it seemed in college.

I thought about moving back home and going to dental school. I thought about becoming a pharmaceutical sales person. I thought about selling plasma and eggs to get money while I was thinking about getting a career. Then I thought about becoming an electrician again. It wasn't my dream, and it wasn't my personal best, but it wasn't awful either.

So here we are, almost full circle, a year later. I am:

• Working as an electrician in Off Broadway theatre houses.
• Becoming more patient with the pursuit of my American dream.
• Extremely happy that I have wonderful friends moving up here very soon.
• Interviewing for a job, that sounds amazing, this week.
• Content.

I still get homesick, and I still want to go back to school, but for now everything is stable. I had the opportunity to program lights for this hilarious show "Bach at Leipzig" last October. One line from that play that really described where I feel I am in my career right now is, "We boldly march forward only to find that we have been facing the wrong direction." For now, I've decided that I will live in New York City, and I will love it, and maybe I'll stand still for a while and see what comes to me.

And I did, eventually, find a parking space.